


The Monster in my Closet

by MarineJones



Category: HLVRAI-Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Eldritch Abomination, M/M, Panic Attacks, Selectively mute, They/Themrey, Will add tags as I go, eventual frenrey - Freeform, more of a found family type story tho, semi-verbal joshua, slight body horror
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28602063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarineJones/pseuds/MarineJones
Summary: Benrey respawns back on Earth after the science team took them down. They decide to take shelter in a random closet in a random house.AKA Benrey lives in Joshua's closet and Gordon has no idea.
Relationships: Benrey & Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 51
Kudos: 234





	1. The Monster Appears

**Author's Note:**

> I'm surprised I'm still writing. I've never writing this much but here we go!

Everything was so dark. This happened everytime Benrey “died”. They would lose physical form for a while and just float. They don’t feel warm or cold. They take a moment to think. How did they die this time? Why is it taking so long for them to respaw? What did they do?

Slowly it all began to come back to them. They remembered Black Mesa, the science team, being on Xen. They remembered Gordon and how angry he was. Not that they could blame him for any of it. Everything that happened there was their fault.

They wish they could go back and change what they did then they would. Sadly time travel is not part of their skill set. They also wish they didn’t die on Xen. That meant they’d resplendent there too. Xen’s not a nice place, they preferred Earth. It was softer, and nicer.

They began to slowly notice the world around them. Wind was gently blowing on their face. The ground underneath them was cold, but soft. It felt different then anything he felt on Xen or in black Mesa.

Their eyes squinted open to see a clear colorful sky. It looked painted with pinks and oranges. They glanced to their side to see small green blades swaying in the slight breeze. Grass? There’s no green grass on Xen.

They shot up and looked around to truly take in their surroundings. They were on Earth. The sun was setting and they seemed to be sitting in someone’s backyard. The cold breeze swaying the trees and grass. It was too cold for them and they could feel their body beginning to lock up.

Looking at the house they noticed one of the windows was open. Standing on shaking legs they looked down at themself. Their skin had a blueish tint with long black claws. Holes scattered on their body showing their skeleton, no blood pumping through their veins. They tried to shift into their human form only to have their skin move slightly before returning to the clawed beast they truly were.

Figuring they were too cold and tired they walked up to the window and clumsily climbed in. Collapsing on the floor they looked around noting the simple kitchen they were in.

Rising to their feet once again, they decided to take a look around. It was a rather cozy one story house. The living room was cluttered with toys, a large TV in the corner. There was a small office with a full gaming setup(cool). There were what appeared to be two bedrooms, one door closed, one open. They walked into the open one.

The room was also covered in toys with a small bed pushed against the wall. Was this where human children sleep?

They heard the front door open and voices begin to fill the air. In a frozen panic they began to look around. Currently their limbs were elongated and an inhuman hue. They had a long spined tail behind them, bones sticking out in random places, and more eyes then anything needed. Their form kept shifting slightly, having difficulty staying in one shape. If a human saw them like this it would be bad, not to mention they were also trespassing.

Their eyes landed on the slightly opened closet door and quickly scampered in closing the door behind them. There were some toys on the closet’s floor, but past that it was empty. Perfect amount of room for Benrey to comfortably hide, undetected.

Small footsteps could be heard walking in, the rooms door quietly closing behind them. Benrey stood there silently wondering how they could get out of this situation.

—————

Joshua had just entered his room and closed the door. His dad offered to tuck him in, but he was a big boy now. He just turned seven and was ready to put himself to bed.

He was about to climb into bed when he noticed something off. He looked around his room, noticing his closet door was closed. He’d always leave the door slightly cracked, so he could see if his toys needed help.

Slowly he walked over to it. Part of him wanted to shout for his dad, but he also wanted to prove that he was old enough to sleep on his own.

He put his tiny hand on the door and opened it as quickly as he could. Freezing he looked up at the tall shifting form in front of him. Half of him was terrified, the other was fascinated by it’s strange appearance.

—————

Benrey slowly looked down at the child in front of him. He has short curly hair, and tan skin covered in freckles. Something about the boy seemed oddly familiar to them.

The kid slowly backed up and sat on his bed, looking like he might pass out. He said one simple word, “monster.”

“Wha?” Was all Benrey could manage, trying to keep their voice down.

The kid sat there for a bit moving his hands around. Looked like he was signing, but Benrey couldn’t make out what they were trying to say and simply tilted their head slightly.

The kid stopped and moved his mouth a few times, trying to find his voice. “Are you gonna eat me?”

“Nah,” Benrey said as they sat down, trying to look as non threatening as possible. “You’re way too small. Plus I don’t think humans would taste very good.”

The kid tilted his head slightly like Benrey did a moment ago. “You’ve never tried?”

“Never wanted to. Fish is pretty damn good, so I never cared enough.”

“Oh,” the room went silent for a moment. Then the kid pointed at himself and then Benrey. “Friend?”

Benrey just stared as their brain tried to catch up to what was happening. Was the kid asking if they could be friends? That’s not what they were expecting. “Uh, sure if you want.”

The kid’s face lit up as he smiled at them. His hands flapping excitedly. He pointed at himself and said, “Joshua” before pointing at Benrey,

So his name is Joshua, huh? Benrey then pointed and themself with one of their long black claws. “Benrey.”

Joshua then climbed all the way into his bed and looked at Benrey one more time. “Can you make sure no bad monsters come and eat me.”

“Uh, sure.”

He then pulled the covers over himself and fell asleep instantly. Benrey slowly walked out, careful not to step on any toys, turned off the light and went back to their spot in the closet.

Joshua. They heard that name somewhere before, but where? Oh yeah, they heard it once in Black Mesa. Gordon said it. It was his, wait.

Oh.

Oh no.

They know who’s house they’re in now. 

They decided this was something for them to deal with later. They were still a little cold and tired. They definitely needed time to heal properly before facing the man that had killed him and put him in this weakened state to begin with. They decided to close their eyes and rest for now.


	2. The Monster Stays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More friendship bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the positive feedback made me excited to make the second part, so here y'all go.

They just wanted to be friends. Why were they so bad at this? Why couldn’t they just be good for once. Xen brought out the worst in them. The memories that place brought made it impossible for them to control their emotions. They grew greatly in size, their form constantly shifting, changing shape. They lashed out at their use to be friends, intent to harm them. Why? Why was there always so much hate? Why did they have to play the bad guy? Why did it always have to end like this?

Benrey's eyes shot open as they frantically looked around. They were sitting in a closet with the door open, giving them a clear view of the boy sleeping peacefully and they relaxed. They didn’t like sleeping and were glad they didn’t actually need to. It always brought back bad thoughts, but they really needed the rest.

They looked down at their clawed hand and frowned. Once again they tried to shift into their human form. Watching their skin and bones shift slightly in their hand before returning to the clawed stat they were already in. No luck. That fight really did a number on them.

They heard footsteps right outside the room’s door and quickly closed the closet most of the way, leaving a small crack for them to look through.

Gordon carefully opened the door and walked in. His long fluffy hair was down and he was simply in a tshirt and jeans. Benrey had never seen him out of the hev suit, but this wasn’t the time to focus on that. If he knew Benrey was there, that would be the end for them.

Gordon reached down and slowly shook Joshua awake. “C’mon Joshie, time to get up. I made breakfast.”

The child looked over at his closet, dark brown eyes meeting multiple yellow eyes. He then looked up back at his dad and slowly stood, sleepily following him out of the room.

Benrey released the breath they didn’t even know they were holding. If they could keep their shape they would just walk out and leave, but with the shifting form they were stuck in, that would cause a panic.

All they could do was sit there with his thoughts. They couldn’t stop thinking about everything they’d done and how badly they regretted it. The negative emotions kept building up in their chest until they let out a small hum. The orb that escaped their mouth was a swirl of blacks and purples, lighting up the dark closet for a moment. They watched it goat above their head, like a sad little lightshow, before fading away.

The bedroom door closed once again, as small footsteps came to the closet door. The door slid open and Joshua smiled up at them.

“I snuck some food for you,” he said as he pulled some sausage out of his pocket.

Benrey took it and stared for a moment. They figured they'd eaten worse and ate them quickly. They figured they were hungrier than they thought. Then again they hadn’t eaten anything this respawn.

Joshua giggled. “So you like sausage?”

“Yeah, it’s the good tasty.”

Joshua sat there, his hands twitching every now and then. There were things he wanted to say, but his voice was heard for him to find. Usually when he has this happen he’ll sign his feelings, but it appeared like his new friends didn’t know any sign.

Benrey sat there waiting for him to find his voice. They understood, they too often had problems finding their voice, or expressing their emotions. That’s why they often use their sweet voice. It’s easier and feels more natural to them.

“Uuuuh,” he started, still moving his hands a little. “Are you staying?”

Benrey shrugged. “For now,” they said. “I can’t leave right now. Not ‘till I’m all healed up.”

“You’re hurt?”

“Kinda, but I’m ok now. Just still a little weak.”

“How’d that happen?”

Benrey froze. They weren’t sure how to say this. Should they be vague? You can’t really tell a kid that his dad killed you, cause you were being an awful person. “I did something bad… Someone had to stop me.”

He looked down at his hands, a small frown appearing on his face. “Do you hate them for that?”

They quickly shook their head. They didn’t have to think about it. They don’t think they could ever truly hate Gordon. “No. He was in the right, the hero… I was the one in the wrong,”

The room fell silent once more. Benrey hoped that maybe Gordon didn’t hate them, but that probably wasn’t going to happen. They looked down at their hand once more. Long black claws that could tear through someone with ease, their bones shifting constantly under their thin skin. Couldn’t figure out how Joshua was able to stay so close to them without screaming.

Without a word, Joshua walked over to his toys, picking up two guys and a horse. He walked back towards Benrey handing them one of the toys. “Wanna play cowboys?”

They gently grabbed the toy, trying their hardest not to harm the toy in their dangerous hands. Looking up at the kid in front of them for a moment before looking back at the toy in their hand they responded, “sure.”

Joshua wanted to play as the bad cowboy, which let Benrey experience herohood. The bad one had taken the princess, a barbie, was taken by the bad guy and the good guy had to save her. Benrey was pretty sure princesses and cowboys didn’t coexist, but they didn’t know enough about the subject to say anything.

Time flew by as the two played. Suddenly Benrey froze as they heard footsteps approaching. They dropped the toy and scurried into the closet, leaving Joshua standing there confused.

Gordon opened the door and poked his head in. “Hey Joshie, you’ve been in here all day. You ok?”

“Yeah,” he said with a huge smile. “Playing cowboys with my new friend!”

Gordon giggled, assuming he was talking about an imaginary friend. “Ok. You want some lunch? I could make you a ham and cheese sandwich.”

“Yes!,” he said louder than he meant. “Can I have two?”

“Two?” Gordon said, completely baffled. Joshua was never one to eat much.

“I’m big! I need more food.”

Gordon shook his head with a gentle smile on his face. “Ok, I’ll be right back.”

After Gordon walked out Joshua looked into the closet to see Benrey curled up in a tight ball. Their tail wrapped up around them.

“Are you ok?” he said, concern obvious in his voice.

“Uh, yeah.” They said trying to hold their sweet voice in. They didn’t want to risk Gordon seeing it.

“Are you scared of my dad?”

“No,” they paused for a moment. “He’d be scared of me.”

“I don’t think you’re that scary.”

Benrey looked at him blankly. How could this kid not be absolutely terrified by them? They shook their head to clear their mind. “I don’t want to risk it.”

“Oh.” He leaned in a little, putting his hand next to his face like he was telling a secret. “I’m only going to eat one sandwich. The other one is for you.”

“Heh, thanks little cowboy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Color time: black can mean regret and purple can be used for mourning or cruelty


	3. The Monster’s Claustrophobic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love claustrophobic Benrey, so them hiding in a closet isn't the best idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a coherent upload schedule, oops. This chapter does involve a panic attack, so heads up.

That night Benrey refused to sleep. They just watched Joshua sleep peacefully. Looking at their hands they tried to shift back. For a moment their claws dulled, and their skin began to turn into the pale color they once were. It doesn’t last as their bones crack and their hand turned back to claws.

With a sigh of defeat they looked back at the boy curled up nearby. At least they have someone nearby to talk to and hang around with. If only they could leave this cramped room.

They let out a small tone and the room began to light up with their song. Dark red orbs fading into a gentler grey. They watched the colors dance along the walls and shift in hues.

This closet is beginning to feel too small.

—————

Gordon and Joshua left in the afternoon for some reason. Benrey wasn’t sure why, but they were happy to be able to move around.

They wandered out of Joshua’s room into the living room. Looking around for something to preoccupy their mind, they decided to see if there was anything good to rad in the kitchen.

Opening the fridge they began to scan for something he’d enjoy. There was some sandwich stuff and some fruit cups. A few drinks scattered around the inside along with some sauces. A half empty gallon of milk sat in the door along with a carton of eggs and some butter.

They hope Gordon went out to buy more food, cause this was just sad. He has a growing boy for crying out loud.

Slamming the fridge door in frustration they reached up to the connected freezer. Inside they saw a big thing of hotpockets.

“Sweet,” they said as they reached in and pulled some out. Part of them wanted to eat them right out of the package, but decided against it and threw it into the microwave.

They spread out against the couch and ate their new found snack. This was nice. If only it could last.

Their peaceful moment was interrupted suddenly when they heard a car pulling up. They quickly leapt off the couch, scurried to Joshua’s room and slammed the closet door behind them.

They were back in that small dark closet. Trapped. They heard voices enter the house, but couldn’t leave. Trapped. They tried to breathe, but the air was suffocating around them. Trapped. They were trapped.

Trapped.

—————

The two walked in, Gordon carrying several bags of food. Joshua almost bolting straight to his room.

“Hold it, Joshie!” Gordon called out, stopping him in his place.

Gordon pointed down at the small pile of toys in front of him. “I keep telling you to put your toys away. I don’t want to step on one and fall.”

Joshua nodded his head quickly and ran over. Scooping them all up in his small arms, careful not to drop any, and went to his room.

Gordon was about to go into the kitchen to put away the groceries, when something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention.

He looked over to see a small plate, with some dried cheese on the couch. He doesn’t recall doing it and Joshua was with him all day. He’s hoping his memory is just getting worse and he forgot. The other explanation filled him with dread. Someone had been in his house

—————

Joshua burst through the door and instantly dropped all his toys in front of him. Floating all over his room were glowing, dark blue orbs. They led to the now wide open window that Joshua ran up to.

Peering outside, he frantically looked for his new friend. Besides the odd orb here and there, there was no sign of them. It was becoming night, the wind cold as it flew through the window. Joshua felt tears begin to fill his eyes as he looked around. He turned at the sound of footsteps behind him. 

Gordon barely registered the tears running down his son’s face as he entered. His eyes to focused on the all to familiar orbs that were fading from the room.

“Daddy,” Joshua sobbed, snapping Gordon out of his trance. “My friend ran away. What if they’re hurt?”

Gordon’s heart dropped as the pieces all fell into place. His son's new friend was none other than the jerk he thought he got rid of. With so many thoughts running through his head all he could do was take a deep breath and try to comfort his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one was short compared to the rest
> 
> Color theory time: pt 1; dark red can mean regret and grey can mean loneliness  
> Pt 2; I saw someone say dark blue was like the feeling of being trapped in the ocean, so I just went with that.


	4. The Monster’s Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote Joshua’s semi verbale based off of my own experience with selective mutism. The extreme stress makes it impossible for him to talk.

Gordon wasn’t quite sure how it turned out like this. He was walking through the local park trying to chase the fading sweet voice to find someone he never wanted to see again. Joshua trailing behind him. 

He wanted to leave Joshua home, but the kid was being too stubborn and wanted to make sure his friend was ok. He wishes he knew how long Benrey was living in his son’s closet. This is going to be one strange conversation.

As their tail faded completely Joshua began to panic. He let out strangled sobs as he frantically looked around. He held one finger in front of him, moving his hand back and forth signing “where” over and over again.

“We’ll find them,” Gordon said, trying to sooth him. “They have to be around here somewhere.”

He nodded his small head and took a deep breath, like he had been taught. He began to look around a little slower and calmer, but his hand kept it’s repetitive movement. Suddenly he completely stopped and pointed his finger forward, his mouth moving with the need to say something, but the words not coming out.

Gordon’s gaze followed his finger until it landed on the slide. Hanging off the end was a tail with shifting hues of faded blues and greys. He slowly approached the figure, but froze once he got a good look. Anxiety washing over him, making him feel sick to his stomach.

Their skin slightly shifting with their form. Bones sticking out all over their body. Several closed eyes all over their face and arms. And those claws, long and sharp. Looking like they could easily rip through flesh.

He snapped back into reality as he felt a small hand pull on his shirt. Looking down he saw Joshua looking up at him with concern written all over his face.

Gordon swallowed the lump that was in his throat as he leaned a little closer. He could hear them taking small, shallow breaths. He reached his hand out, tapping them on their arm. Their skin was ice cold to the touch and they didn’t react at all. Was it possible it was too cold out here for them?

Joshua let out a small whine, prompting Gordon to speak. “I think they just passed out.”

He had half the mind to just go home and leave Benrey there, but knew he couldn’t. Not only would Joshua be very upset about that decision, he couldn’t let them freeze to death out here. He reached down and picked them up. Setting them on his back, careful of their claws he began to carry them back home.

__________

Back at home, Gordon basically threw Benrey onto the couch and collapsed on the floor completely exhausted. Joshua ran into his room, grabbed one of his blankets, and ran back over throwing it on Benrey.

Gordon didn’t dare look away from the being in front of him as he spoke. “You can’t just let things live in your closet. Look at them, they’re clearly dangerous.”

Joshua shook his head, “They’re my friend, they said they wouldn’t hurt me.”

“Just because someone said something doesn’t mean they mean it. You don’t know what they’ve done.”

“They said they made a mistake. They regret it.”

“Mistake!?” Gordon shouted out of frustration, causing Joshua to frown greatly. Taking a step back he said, “Sorry.”

“See, you make mistakes too,” he looked up with a pleading look.

Gordon couldn’t wrap his head around the thought of Benrey changing, but he was too tired to argue. Giving a defeated sigh, he said, “Ok, Joshie, but you need to go to bed. It’s extremely late.”

He let out a small whine as he looked over at Benrey. He wanted to make sure his friend was ok.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on them.” Gordon said, a small smile on his face.

Joshua nodded slightly before going to his room.

Gordon sighed as he stood up. He walked over to his office and rolled the chair over. Sitting down he looked at Benrey, trying to organize his thoughts. How and why were they there. He wasn’t sure when they’d wake up, or what they’d do once they’re awake.

Despite how on edge he was, he was too tired to keep his eyes open. Slowly he drifted to sleep in the chair he sat in, momentarily forgetting his worries.

__________

It was about two in the morning when Joshua gave up trying to sleep. He couldn’t stop worrying about his friend. He wanted to know why his friend ran off like that, or if they were hurt.

He slipped out of bed, his blanket wrapped around him, and wandered into the living room. He frowned at his now sleeping father before quietly walking over to his friend.

Benrey had managed to curl themself into a tight ball, the borrowed blanket wrapped around them. They laid there silently sleeping, almost looking peaceful.

Joshua slowly climbed up onto the couch next to them, trying his best not to wake them. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, feeling content to know his friend was safe.

__________

Cold. It was so cold. The stone floor below them was freezing to the touch, as they looked around. Alone. They were always alone. They hated it. They just wanted a friend. They wrapped their arms around them, trying to hide from the chill. Suddenly they felt an unfamiliar warmth surround them. Warm like the sun. Warm like freedom. Warm like they were finally safe.

They shifted slightly and their eyes fluttered open. They looked around disoriented. Last they knew they were at a playground. It was cold and their body began to lock up and shut down. Now they were laying on something soft with a blanket wrapped around them.

Instantly their eyes landed on the chair in front of them. A small orb of deep, dark red escaped their mouth as they realized who was sitting there. Gordon was peacefully sleeping, oblivious of the fading light floating in the room.

Their eyes drifted down to the small mass pressed up against them. Curled up there was Joshua, sleeping soundly. A small smile appeared on their face as they carefully slipped off the couch. They lifted the small boy in their arms and walked over to his room. Gently laying him down on his bed, before slipping back into the closet, leaving the door wide open.

Gordon knew they were there, but didn’t hurt them. He just brought them home. They were warm and safe. Safe. An unfamiliar feeling that brought a smile to their face as they drifted off back to sleep. A peaceful sleep they never experienced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Color time: red and black means fear, so I went with a dark red


	5. The monster’s home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a lot of people are waiting for the inevitable conversation, but not yet. (soon)

Benrey felt a small finger poking their face, stirring them from their slumber. They were enjoying the peaceful rest. Slowly opening their eyes they say Joshua looking up to them.

He pointed at them, “Better?”

They tilted their head slightly trying to process what they said. Oh yeah, they ran off last night and almost turned into a Benreycicle.

“Yeah,” they said stretching out like a cat, their form sifting strangely as they did.

The bedroom door opened and they froze instantly.

Both them and Joshua looked up to see Gordon standing there. He was clearly trying to stay calm and not look at Benrey. A faded muddy yellow colored orb floated out of Benrey’s mouth causing Gordon to glance over.

Their eyes locked. One showing an uncertain nervousness, the other showing anger. Both laced with fear.

Gordon took a calming breath before turning to his son. “Come on Joshie, let’s get you some breakfast.”

“Benrey get food too!” Joshua demanded, giving a small glare at his father.

Wide eyed Gordon looked between the two infront of him. Benrey just gave a small shrug in response.

With a defeated sigh he motioned for them to follow him into the kitchen. “So, what do we want to eat today?” Opening the fridge he scanned through everything he bought.

“Eggs!” Joshua shouted, flapping his hands in excitement.

Reaching in and pulling them out, he then asked “What type?”

Joshua put his small hand on his ching and hummed in deep thought.

“Maybe, scrambled” Benrey mumbled eyes glued to the carton. Part of them wanted to just eat them as they were, but that would be a bad influence on Joshua.

“Scramble!” the kid shouted, throwing his hands in the air. “With sausage!”

Benrey’s eyes lit up at that idea. Nodding their head as quickly as they could, their stomach giving a small growl.

“I didn’t know you even had a stomach,” Gordon said, giving them a strange look.

“Rumbly in Tummy means it’s time for nommies,” They said.

Gordon couldn’t stop the small snort he gave. “Okay dude, go chill in the living room. I need to cook.”

Benrey walked into the living room and sat down on the floor patiently. Joshua snuck away from his father and skipped to his room for a moment before returning with some toys. He hands one to Benrey, which they carefully took. “Cowboys?” Joshua simply asked.

“Sure, little guy,” They said, smiling softly. The two began playing a little game to distract themselves from their hunger.

__________

Gordon finished making three plates of breakfast and after finding a way to balance them brought them into the living room. The other two sat on the floor, Benrey putting their energy into making their claws duller to prevent any damage.

He held one of the plates out towards Joshua, who made a happy noise as he grabbed his food and happily started eating.

He glanced over at Benrey who put the toy down and curled up a little, trying to look smaller and less threatening. With a small sigh he put one of the plates in front of them and sat down on the couch with his own food.

He started at Benrey as they ate. They slowly picked at the eggs nibbling on bits. They picked up a sausage and ate the entire thing with no hesitation, causing Gordon to cringe a little.

“Can’t you just eat normally?” Gordon said pointing at the fork placed on their plate.

They looked down at their clawed hands and then up at Gordon. “No.”

Gordon shifted uncomfortably before pulling out his phone. He opened his messages and mumbled, “I can’t do this on my own.”

Both Benrey and Joshua tilted their heads. “Who are you talking to?” Benrey asked as they shoved another sausage into their mouth.

“Tommy,” he responds as he typed a message to him. “Maybe he can deal with you.”

“Oh,” they said. One part of them wanted to see their old friend again. Another part of them wasn’t sure they wanted to know how Tommy would react to them being back.

After a couple minutes of silence, Gordon’s phone buzzed. With a quick glance he said, “Ok, he’ll be here in about an hour.”

Benrey gave a quick nod before Gordon pointed at them. “You,” he said “are staying where I can see you.”

They tried to shrink again, but they understood why Gordon was being cautious.

The air grew thick as they sat there. They just had to survive until Tommy got there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Color time: Yellow can mean uncertainty. I tried to go with an unpleasant shade to help get the point across.


	6. The monster’s conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking awhile. February wasn't good to me, so it was hard to write. I'm doing better now, and ready to start uploading again.

The room was dead silent. Joshua had gone to his room to play, but Gordon wasn’t going to let Benrey out of his sight again. They were staring at their hands, trying to hold back their anxiety.

A soft knock on the door made them both jump and look at it’s direction. Gordon slowly stood, turning to Benrey he said, “Stay.” before heading to the door. They just went back to staring at their hands.

Opening the door Tommy stood there looking unsure. “Uh, hi Mr. Freeman,” he said trying to sound calm. “I’m sorry, but I’m still trying to wrap my head around what you said in your message. Benrey is back?”

“Yeah,” he responded, sounding more exhausted then he felt. “I just need you to be a moderator or something. I’m barely holding my cool right now.” He stepped to the side to let the other man in.

“Got it!” Tommy said, nodding quickly before sprinting inside. He froze as he saw the being sitting on the floor. “Benrey?”

Slowly they looked up at their old friend, their expression unreadable as they stared blankly. After a long moment of silence they simply said, “Hey.”

“L-look at you,” his voice sounded tight. Not like he was scared, but like he was fighting off tears.

“Can’t help it,” they responded. Their voice completely flat and emotionless. “This is how I look.”

“I know but, usually you look different! Didn’t you say you hated this form?”

“Wait,” Gordon interrupted. “You knew they looked like this?”

“Well, yeah. We’ve known each other for years.” He turned his attention back to Benrey. “Can you not turn back?”

Benrey looked back down at their hands. Slowly their form shifted, and for a moment they looked as they did when Gordon first met them. Quickly though, their body wavered and they went back to the creature they were moments ago.

Gordon turned around feeling sick to his stomach. They’ve seen them shift before durning the big fight back then, but seeing it up close was just disturbing. He took a deep breath before turning back.

Tommy was now sitting on the floor next to Benrey, a look of concern written across his face. “Are you okay?” He asked.

Benrey simply shrugged, refusing to look up at either of them.

“When did you get back?” Tommy continued.

“I don’t know. A couple days ago, I guess.”

“Please tell me you weren’t hiding in my house the entire time,” Gordon said. The silence Benrey gave was enough of an answer.

“You can’t just secretly live in people’s houses,” said Tommy, sounding way too calm for this situation.

“I didn’t mean to,” they started. “It was cold and I needed warmth. I didn’t know whose house it was. And Joshua didn’t mind.”

“Of course the kid thinks it’s ok!” Gordon shouts, becoming infurious with them.

“Mr. Freeman, please calm down.”

“No! How are you so calm about this? Nothing about this is okay! I want them out of my house!” With a sigh, he started to pace around the room. “I can’t, I can’t fucking do this.”

Tommy began to look back and forth between the two. Gordon pacing, running his fingers through his hair, and Benrey looking down in front of them in defeat, trying desperately to become smaller. “I-I’m sure we can work something out.”

Gordon let out a small groan, causing Benrey to glance up at Tommy.

“It’s ok,” they say in a small voice, a single faded blue orb escaping. “Could… could I stay with you for a little while? Maybe?”

Tommy put a comforting hand on their shoulder. “Of course you can.”

__________

Gordon sat there in silence, lost in thought. At least Benrey’s out of his house, but he still couldn’t rest. Something seemed so off. They seemed so, defeated. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. Were they actually sorry for everything they had done, or was it all a trick. He couldn’t tell.

“Daddy?” said a small voice, snapping him out of his thoughts. He looked at Joshua who was standing there, holding one of his toys up to his chest. “Where’s Benrey?”

“They,” he stopped to think. “They’re staying somewhere else now.”

Joshua’s expression dropped. “But, f-friend,” Was all he got out before breaking down into tears. He didn’t have any friends at school, most kids found him strange or annoying. Benrey was his first and only real friend.

Gordon opened his arms, letting Joshua climb into his lap and curl up. “I’m sure they’ll be back soon,” he said trying to comfort the small boy. He didn’t want to admit it, but Benrey had a habit of wiggling back into his life.

Eventually Joshua fell asleep in his father’s arms. He picked him up and brought him to bed. As he tucked him in he realized how unbelievably tired. He had signed away any chance of peace, by promising his son the return of his enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Color time: both white and blue can mean defeat, so I went with a faded blue

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna see other things I do, or bug me to continue the story check out my tumblr https://marine-c-jones.tumblr.com/


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